Get Outta My Way!

I recently took my daughter to the aquarium. We went to the Aquarium of the Pacific, which, if you know it, is quite large and has lots of great things to offer children. My mother went with us and I won't hesitate in telling you that having her there is a God send in terms of helping keep an energetic two-year-old in check (she is also a great photographer!) The day started off well enough. We got there shortly after it opened, so that meant it wasn't too crowded yet. My daughter was excited to be there which translated into her practically bouncing off the walls. She ran from one tank of fish to the next.

The only tank that held her attention for more than a couple minutes was the dolphin tank. It wasn't that she wasn't interested, I just think she was on overload and the long car drive to the aquarium resulted in some pent-up energy.  We let her do some running, feed the birds, pet some of the fish, and generally take charge of the directions we went and enclosures we stopped to see. She was really having a great time. My mother and I were also having a great time basking in her happiness.

However, as with all good things, they must come to an end. As my daughter moved up to one of the smaller tanks holding tiny 'sea snakes', she realized that the two people squatting in front of the tank hindered her view to the point that she couldn't see what all the fuss was about. In her eagerness, and I suppose a bit of self importance, she stated simply to the couple "Get outta my way, move!" The couple looked shocked at first. I couldn't move in temporary horror. My mother smirked and turned away coughing in a way that sounded conspicuously like a laugh. I started profusely apologizing to the couple who graciously stood up, smiled at my daughter, stated that she was adorable, and walked on to the next tank enclosure. My daughter looked at me, smiled, said "Be nice!", and then started examining her sea snakes.  My belief is that she knew there was a reprimand or redirect coming her way and she just didn't want to put up with one of those when the tiny sea snakes were awaiting her regard.

I never proclaim myself to be prolific when it comes to punishing or redirecting my daughter. Luckily, my education in childhood and adolescent development was there to back me up, and kicked in at the right time. After the initial shock, I walked up to my daughter and told her that she needed to apologize to the couple because she had acted rudely towards them. She did this nicely enough. I then asked her if she would it if another child came up and said 'Get out of my way' and then pushed her out of the way. She said she wouldn't and that she would be sad. She said she was sorry to me and hugged me. My heart felt light, as it always does when my daughter takes a developmental step in the direction towards becoming a loving, kind, sympathetic human being. To think more clearly on it, I think I feel light every time my daughter hugs me, kisses me, or says I love you. She's my heart.

I can think of several ways that this situation could have been worse. It was embarrassing enough that it happened in the first place. I always wonder what people think of me when my daughter has a 'manners slip' as I call them. Do they think I'm a bad parent. Do they think my daughter is a bad child? Are they understanding about what it's like having young children and the things they do? I hope most people fall into the third category, and the rest, well I just don't worry myself with what the rest of the people think. I think that's the big key in all of this. Arm yourself with God, knowledge, and love when it comes to raising your children, don't worry about the skeptics and nay-sayers, and take hold of every teaching experience God hands you. I was proud of the way I handled it, but realized later that there might have even been better ways to handle it. I try not to be too hard on myself as a parent though, so I will leave my musings at that.

Have you ever had similar experiences? The ones that momentarily horrify you, leaving you with more than one choice of how best to handle it? I'm sure you all have. I'm sure you have pearls of wisdom to depart of me. If, however, you ever feel stumped, I would tell you to stop. Take three large breaths, and try to focus on the bigger picture. What was the harm? What lessons are you able to teach your child right now? It's all about focusing on the bigger picture on not getting caught up in the moment or the emotions that have surfaced. The last thing children need to see in regards to these situations, is adults making decisions based on split second emotions and what they think on-lookers would want them to do. Stay true to your children, do everything for their benefit.

As always, if you need anything, don't hesitate to click on my profile and e-mail me. I love hearing from you all! God Bless.